an important lesson by: w.a.t.

"i think if i yell at her enough, she'll come along."

that's what i used to do with the wife. she was a sad old maid who wanted to become a famous pianist. one night she tied strings from the ceiling to her fingers. she let her hands dangle all night, hoping that it would lengthen her fingers and make her a better pianist. the next morning she woke up with a terrible pain in her finger tips. within the next ten minutes, she lost all of her feeling in both hands, never to be regained again. our marriage was even more rocky than usual after that. one night, about a year later, she locked herself in the bathroom. There she sat all night, chewing both of her hands to the bone. i found her the next morning. she had bled to death. on the wall she wrote in blood, "don't yell at girls to get them to do stuff. it's mean. oh yeah, this wasn't because of you, it's mostly because i'm bummed out about not being able to play piano any longer... love, Gumberella". that was the end of my beloved Gumberella. she was named after her father. he was the star of a children's cartoon a long time ago. i never did get to ask her what station it was on so that i could watch it. she told me her father died. she said that he was smushed and then eaten by a giant baby. she lived one sad life. maybe she's in a better place.