Kei's New Modeling Job

For Rockett Clothing

Someone Do My Laundry

Yep.

I'm pretty sure we made out in an elevator...or maybe it was the bird..

Why they are not my friends? I will never know..

Crystal Pepsi sucked dude..

I wish I had that bear suit....

I'm on a boat bitch! I'm on a dolphin doin flips and shitttt!

Team TAWS

I would like to thank the members of Team Taws and everybody else for the most amazing birfday party of my entire lifetime!!!!!!!!! I can't even express in words how much it meant to me to see everyones smiling faces vs. the surprsing and shocked look on mine :) and to everyone who traveled a long time to get there, You're amazing!!! Here are some photos of it stolen from www.johnnycupcakes.com blog. check more pics out there! oh and ps. i have the coolest parents and friends in the universe. jus sayin.

<3 <3 <3


Haaaa!!!


TAWS co-creator Lennard!


TAWS members Lillian and Bobby!


TAWS member Eugene!


Regan! and TAWS members Lillian and Kat!


TAWS member Jessica!

Your Future Baby Mama!

Wow, what a retard.

I did not attend Coachella.

I'm a little upset that I missed Mastodon, Atmosphere, The Bloody Beetroots, other cool stuff I don't yet know about, etc. So what was I doing instead? Working and recovering from the flu! Hanging out with Whoopi Goldberg! That's right she was ALL UP IN The Paul Frank Store. Much better than watching a former Beatle, right? I know. Today was the first day all week that I didn't feel like crap so I went to Open Gym in Hollywood.After we started adding our own silly play-by-play commentary to our matches a la Jason Bateman from the movie, it got me to thinking about another one of my favorite blogs, LOL Jocks. You know, like LOL Cats but with sports athletes instead. Kinda ridiculous. Anyway, I was looking at the L.A. Weekly photos from the Burt Reynolds Dodgeball Tournament and Mustache Expo this past Easter and I couldnt stop laughing at some of the pics! Check the link for some familiar TAWS faces! Only thing is, they were missing the witty captions. That's where THESE come in.
I mean think of the possibilities if we had an official TAWS sports and tomfoolery photographer (helloooo Lilly ;) )? Dodgemon! gotta catch 'em all? Dodgeball: The Gathering? I could do this all night! But I'm sleepy. So I'm stopping now. See you guys on the court. Happy captioning!

This has been a TAWS Sports Presentation.

Fat Von D.

Pics and interview by Prick Magazine. Thank you prick magazine.

So, Fat, we are super-stoked to have gotten to know you at the female tattoo expo. How did it feel to work around so many talented female artists?

I feel that it was an amazing experience for all the talented women to work beside me, since I am God’s gift to tattooing. I mean, it is not every day that you get to work with an icon that can snort a quarter ounce of blow through a Benjamin in one line while tattooing a mean portrait.

Now that Kat Von D has gotten so much fame, do you have any plans on suing her for stealing your style and likeness?

I haven't been thinking about it, but one thing that I have been thinking about is actually finding your doppelgangers. I found mine, that bitch is in L.A! I don’t want a lawsuit; I want a full contact fight in the octagon, bring it bitch! L.A stinks!

Do you party and have sex with rock stars?

I try my best. My standards are set pretty high. I only fuck around with bands that are signed to major labels or sons of rock stars. Now you may ask yourself why? Because they have money, get better drugs and fancy tour buses, and I am not a cheap broad.

Other than tattooing, what are some of your favorite things to do?

Drink, fuck, and snort blow. Do you actually think people in L.A. do anything else?

Are you smart or just talented and sexy?

Shit, I am all of the above. And another thing you forgot is "perfect." I am a sculptured piece of beauty with a brain. I may party when I am hopped up on the powder, but I can shoot the shit about everything, all while trying to start an orgy!

What are you doing for St. Patty's day this year?

Getting fucked up at the EARL with PRICK. I hope there is enough blow in the ATL to satisfy my needs. Now I am not talking about crack, I want powder. Pure, fine, uncut Bolivian flake, not this shit that has been stepped on six or seven times.

It's overcast outside.

Rivalry

So we show up to dodgeball...and I immediately see this short chubby looking fellow. I stop and think to myself...hmmm is that Ron Jeremy?...at dodgeball? So thats how he has all that energy to be a pornstar...dodgeball. But..my asian eyes fooled me once again...it was HAR MAR SUPERSTAR! Same dude who sprinkled his body hair on the crowd at neighborhood festival...same dude who got a wedgie from keldo at neighborhood festival...Same dude tuna called me a creeper because i pulled his back hair at neighborhood festival...HAR MAR RULES Im excited you play...but still...I GOT YOU OUT

POWER LUNCH this...  and AGAIN!...  and another for FLAVOR
DOUBLE POWER!
"What happened" - Har Mar "It was a ninja" - Ninja

How I spent my day off. By: K Mills.

The other day I was sitting at a house down the street from mine. This house has things I only dream of having in my own. Good food, an ironing board, internet, & digital cable. I usually go to this house for the good food & cable. So, I was searching through the On Demand options; Freezone --> Kids --> Cartoon; is the usual route I take. Going through the new titles I noticed a "Knot Funny." Being the obsessively punny person I am, I had to know what this "Knot Funny" was. It started with a little boy tying knots with the intestines of a cute, maternal, lil whale. Next, in came a character with the voice of Brian Doyle- Murray. Genious. The episode progressed with the greatest animation I have seen, facial expressions I wish I could make, & humor that would clearly go over the heads of children. Let's just say there's a knock knock joke that involved rope & a clown that ends up being knot so funny. After watching 13 minutes of pure mind blowingness, I had to see the rest. And, I did. Both sober & unsober. AND both times my eyes, ears, & heart were equally filled with joy at this creation. Yesterday this show was on during the afternoon on Cartoon Network between the hours of two & three. Four whole episodes! Then again at six! Four whole DIFFERENT episodes!!! I did some research & there are new episodes on Thursday evenings at 8:30 pm. NOW, pardon me if you've already seen Flapjack & K'nuckles on their adventures filling your brain with goodness. I don't have the luxury of cable television & just discovered this gem. Hopefully there's one of you out there that has never heard of this & will watch an episode & thank me for changing your life. Either that or I just gave you a good snoozefest. zzZzzzZzzZZZzzzz. I just wanted to make everyone knowledgable about this lil gem I found. & to be honest, kill some time at work, which I was successful in doing. I wouldn't usually go on about just a silly cartoon. Or would I...

johnny cupcakes la

now has a blog!
add it. read it. finesse it.

www.johnnycupcakesla.blogspot.com

<3

Meh.

Majestic Boston Unicorns

I'm dressing up as her for the Burt Reynolds Dodgeball Tournament/Mustache Expo

Get Into It!!



My Future Boyfriend Please

Jumping on the bandwagon?

Anyone think we should start a TAWS Twitter page and start twit-twatting-twitteriffics like the rest of um? Only thinking out loud here..

Irritable People Unite

Dear A-hole "yard-worker" that my landlord sends over,
Why the fuck do you have to blow dirt around with a big noisy blower (i'm unsure of its professional name), at 7 AM? Everyone in this complex is fast asleep, except for the losers that wake up at 6 for their dayjobs. Eff them, and eff you lawn man! Not only do you have to blow right next to my window making it impossible to pass back into an ominous slumber, but you also blow tons of dirt into the cracks of the doors and then it ends up all over my living room. AWESOME! What are you blowing anyways?? Are you supposed to be getting rid of leaves? because I must tell you, I think I have seen maybe 4 leaves total in the whole year I have spent in this glory-hole of an apartment. Oh and hey, remember that time you stopped blowing for ten minutes so you could answer you're huge 80's brick of a cell phone, you are the loudest phone talker I have ever heard and I've heard quite a few, buddy. "HOLA!?!?!?!?! HOOOOOLA!!?!??!?!? NO NO NO (GARBLED SPANISH) ASI! ASI!!! (GOES ON FOR TEN MINS) I Have decided that I loathe you, I loathe you to the very depths of my own being. Blowing sucks, Yelling at your brick phone? that I cannot tolerate! As I rushed out of my room to make my way to the door to yell at you, I tripped over my space heater and rolled my ankle. I blame you, yard man. Someday we will meet, and it won't be pretty. MARK MY WORDS!


Man Love For Life!

I Can't Stop Listening To This. Don't Judge Me.