Merry Christmas to you all and a happy new years...heres is my present to everyone
20 minutes before my job interview...i got the butterflies...to the point where my stomach was swirling...and i knew...that if i entered that building and started my interview...there was no way in hell i could hold it in...how embarrassing would it be to fart during a job interview? and i am not talking about those soft and coherent cute ones...i am talking about those smelly ones that sound like a helicopter...sooooo...i basically had to take a shit...drop a deuce...snake charmer...power dump...spinal tap shit...all that fun stuff...i power walked my way to the nearby mall and headed straight for the bathroom...whew!...not a single person...i entered a stall and started handling business...i'd say 20 seconds in...i hear footsteps...fuck!...there goes peace and quiet! im sorry...i prefer taking a dump in silence...well he walks past my stall and enters the one adjacent to mine...i hear him pull his pants down and sits down on the toilet...AWKWARD SILENCE...it was literally dead quiet...longest 2 minutes of my life...it finally came down to...who is going to drop one first?...i knew he was waiting for me...i was waiting for him...but i had no choice...i had 10 minutes left till i had to be at my interview...so i braced myself...closed my eyes...and i went for it...woooop (sound of poo hitting toilet water)...i didnt move...exactly 15 seconds...he went for it...woooop...AWKWARD SILENCE yet again...shortly after...he dropped again...DOUBLE TIME...fuck it...i went for it...and then he did the unexpected...he farted and giggled a little....the look on my face was most likely priceless...i didnt know whether to laugh or be disgusted by this complete pooin/farting stranger...but for everyone who knows me...i wasnt disgusted...i just felt like i was in the most incredibly awkward moment of my life...all i knew was that i did not want to see this dudes face...so i released...wiped...flushed...out of the stall...and headed over to wash my hands and saw...a bum staring at himself in the mirror...wooop (dude was still going at it) i washed my hands and got out of there...nailed the interview...and never went to that bathroom ever again
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aww what i would have paid to see the look on your face in that stall!! well i probably wouldnt have paid too much cuz im broke but i wish i had seen ur face! <3
ReplyDeletedelete this. please.
ReplyDeleteHAHA ive been through that before no joke son
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