Well Saturday isn't technically a weekend day for me, as it is for most others, because I go to school Tuesday through Saturday, at Paul Mitchell the School..yes "the" school..Paul Mitchell names lots of the their products "the" this and "the" that. anyways so my Saturday kinda blew. Went to school and started slaving around doing hair until a little after 5 o'clock, getting awful blisters on my feet, then had to go straight to work, selling people silver jewelry. It always makes me laugh when people come in and ask if we sell gold..the name of the store is "Something Silver" there is is basically no gold at our store...but its even better when they ask.."do you sell platinum?" (rolling eyes) seriously...if we don't sell gold do u think we're gonna sell platinum? anyways I'm getting off track and its not very eventful. so after work I went home and did nothing because my blistered feet were killing me. pretty uneventful Saturday but i still managed to stay up WAY too late uploading music and effing around on my new computer :) which i love, thanks you Apple for not making shit.
but today, had more eventful events then yesterday.
well i slept till about 1, yes in the afternoon, what of it! and then i ran by the mall dropped a key off at my work, then headed over to my friends house in NoPo (that's north Portland for those who don't know) and went on the quest for ugly christmas sweaters. Goodwill#1, was a bust, apparently they had been wiped clean of everything in the ugly Christmas section. then to Goodwill#2, superstore Goodwill, where i was lucky enough to find a ugly Christmas sweater, that I've already tallied on compliment on, and this lady seriously did like it, and proceeded to tell me it was Norwegian and a "very special sweater"... my buddy Shania wasn't lucky enough to score a sweater and Goodwill#2, however she did snag a very ugly Christmas vest. So we moved onwards to Goodwill#3, a Goodwill outlet store (yes the Goodwill DOES have and OUTLET store) its so be called the Goodwill Cluster Fuck store, Jesus H, this place was just full of huge rolling bins piled high with dirty bastard neglected normal Goodwill clothing. All of the crazies roaming and riffling this place were out of hand, the employees would roll out a newly filled bin and these savages would go fleeing to it and start throwing sweaters, and sheets, and rugs, and toy guitars all over. This place smelled awful. It was the kind of place that once you're in there you want the fuck out! but you feel like you have to look, like theres some buried gems you're missing out on but really you're not. Did i mention that everything there is priced by the lb. yea..crazy. Anyways Shania found an ugly sweater, and we made it out of there with out catching some rare and incurable disease... thank you trusty Purelle hand sanitizer, you held me over till i could get to a shower. Next we had a delicious spaghetti dinner, and then went with her family to pick out a Christmas tree, and then had delicious ice cream cake, and then went to Winter Wonderland...no its not a prom event, even though it sounds like it. Its some Christmas themed light show set up on a racetrack and you drive around it and look at all the lights and listen to Christmas music and it totally gets you in the Christmas spirit. That was all fun and what not but the next events of the evening we're quite outstanding. Well minus the non outstanding event, of some Douche bag not having his damn dog on a leash an his dog went straight towards my dogs to attack them, and nearly got my lil baby Rico. ughhhhh...
So I left Shania and her family and went home got into my spandex, and went the strip club, Lucky Devil, or Lucky Dizzle as i like to call it. And nearly got t-boned by a 18 wheeler that decided he was gonna run a stop sign that i had been stopped at a good 100 yards before he even got to it! goddamn horrible Oregon drivers! i literally almost died in front of a strip club in OR! Anyways, my friends Sean every first Sunday of the month gets to DJ all his favorite sleaze rock songs, and promote his clothing company, Entrust Clothing, its awesome stuff check it out ( www.entrustclothing.com ) ...so we're all rockin out with our cocks out, or jammin out with our clams out..either way. but i got there a little late and missed out on this superb man who was gaining more attention then the naked females on stage. He was this pretty buff, kinda crazy lookin dude, wearing and black long sleeved shirt, a black beanie, and black short shorts..yes short shorts, like really short running shorts, mind you its Portland and its roughly 45 degrees out...so he was just stunning, OH wait it some how slipped my mind that this man was missing his FOUR FRONT TEETH! By the way this man had a name, he told us, "Mark with a K". When he mentioned his name was Mark with a K, my friends Kevin said "Oh cool, Im Kevin with a K"--CLASSIC! some of my favorite things he did that night were..hmmm..sitting at the rack watching the strippers and rocking out to Bon Jovi while straddling a few chairs, and stretching out his legs on the rack and the chairs around him..or dancing around booty shaking better then half the strippers and giving some of us a free show do to the short shorts factor, or like when he grabbed one of the oil candles off one of the tables, and brought it up to one of the strippers while she was dancing and held it up towards her ass, like he was about to go mining for coal or something, or when she continued to dance and was kneeling down straddling the rack right in front of this guy (just reminding you...fully naked) and he holds the candle up towards her freakin vag, and then run over the our group of friends that are just sitting on the couches in aw of this man, and totally wathcing everything he was doing, and he runs over to us and says and i quote "its pierced, two" *and holds up 2 fingers* hahah just amazing, and at one point he held an invisible microphone up for me while i sang my heart out to Missy Elliot- Get Ya Freak On (this was after the cock rock portion of the night had ended), he also at some point in the night said something like Portland's weird "Keep Portland Weird", which is a bumper sticker people around Portland have on their cars, and all i have to say about that is Portlander's (or Pork-landers as i sometimes call them) you can rest your crazy little heads at night and sleep soundly because there is no way Portland could ever NOT be weird, the majority of you all are weird so nooooo woorrriiesss.
well that's basically all i want to talk about, i hope my entry has intrigued someone...anyone haha hopefully I'll have some other fun stories to share sooner then later.
peace out from non-portlander stuck in portland
strip clubs rule my life
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